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What’s an acceptable alternative for a diamond engagement ring?
questioner asked:
I have a very alternative view of marriage, and things in general, and buying a ring, especially with an expensive shiny rock on it, feels really foreign and stupid to me. So I’m looking for an alternative to the whole “diamonds are forever, blow two months salary” sort of thing. I’m thinking something oceanic would be nice. My girlfriend and I are surf fanatics.
I have a very alternative view of marriage, and things in general, and buying a ring, especially with an expensive shiny rock on it, feels really foreign and stupid to me. So I’m looking for an alternative to the whole “diamonds are forever, blow two months salary” sort of thing. I’m thinking something oceanic would be nice. My girlfriend and I are surf fanatics.
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18. October 2008 at 11:12 pm :
that would be beautiful…maybe just a sliver ring with a wave design to it?
22. October 2008 at 3:38 am :
A simple gold band, K-Mart, $29.99
24. October 2008 at 1:36 am :
Whats a ” alternative view of marriage ” is that the same as not being married ?
to my knowledge there is no sub for a diamond engagement ring
27. October 2008 at 10:56 am :
If you buy “lab created” diamonds the cost of the ring should be significantly cheaper.
28. October 2008 at 8:43 am :
What does your girlfriend like?
I have a friend who got an emerald engagement ring.
29. October 2008 at 4:21 am :
First of all make sure your gf feels the same way. Some people bypass the engagement ring and put that money on something more useful like a house. Other gem stones are being used more and more for engagement rings. My daughter’s is an opal. Princess Diana’s ring was Aquamarine. Go on e-bay or bidz, you can find a diamond or any other gem stone, for about 90 % off.
29. October 2008 at 2:09 pm :
I went 12 years without having a diamond. When he said “Do you really want a diamond?” I, being a lady, said “No, that’s fine…. I can wait”. What I really wanted to say was “I know you are great, but I want a ring and a proposal story to tell my friends so they will think you are great too”.
So first ask the young lady. It may be important to her. Please don’t try to convince her of your beliefs on this. Now if her beliefs are the same as yours - Great!
If you do buy a ring, buy one that you can upgrade the diamond in as time goes on and your income grows.
If you like the sea, perhaps a pale colored aquamarine stone would be nice.
1. November 2008 at 2:53 am :
i agree with mahalovi,go with silver/wave or something with that idea.i don’t see what the hype is with diamonds either-kinda generic.shouldn’t something like an engagement be something a lot more personal?and i also agree that unless you are rich,2 mos. salary for a luxury item with no usefullness is ridiculous.
1. November 2008 at 11:28 pm :
You can buy a great gemstones, gemstones were actually the “original” engagement ring stone (pre-DeBeer’s)….. maybe Aquamarine, or sapphire….
check out green karat website, they have great eco-bands..
Good for you!
4. November 2008 at 5:31 am :
I have a sapphire and love it. Get her something that has meaning for both of you and that will last over time. Look for a piece of jewelry that means something or a keepsake. Maybe give her a glass bottle with a letter to her telling her how much you love her. Just make sure it means something.
6. November 2008 at 6:40 pm :
Why not design a ring that you’ll both love? You can set a stone of your choice into the ring. A lot of people go with sapphires (white or blue) or even emeralds.
8. November 2008 at 10:32 am :
My sis is very anti-blood diamond, and she told her boyfriend she didn’t want a diamond. Her (now) husband bought her a topaz and peridot ring (blue topaz, green peridot), and it is very pretty. One is in the center, then the two of the other stone on each side. That might be a good oceanic color combination for you. The ring was yellow-gold, which might be the minority these days with white gold and platinum being so popular. There are a million options. Check out bluenile.com for gemstone rings (great diamond selection too).
Also, I think star sapphires are gorgeous. They are beautiful blue stone with a white star that shows in some light. I’ve seen some set in sterling silver, others in yellow gold. Very unique and special.
Enjoy! It is awesome you want to keep it personal and about the two of you - that is what matters.
PS - One of the reasons diamonds are forever is because they don’t scratch easily. Some others stones require more care, so ask your jeweler plenty of questions (or do your homework).
10. November 2008 at 5:57 am :
You can get her a great silver/ambar ring
12. November 2008 at 6:38 am :
obviously you have an idea….go with it from there.
13. November 2008 at 7:24 pm :
Aquamarine stone. Get it? hehe, I don’t know if that’s lame or not to you.
And yeah, like a silver/white gold/platinum/titanium base.
I agree with your thinking. Don’t waste money on something like an expensive diamond.
16. November 2008 at 12:15 pm :
The alternative is basically any piece of jewelry. The idea is to show the importance you give to the question and to her. In my opinion that means real diamonds, any real gemstone just like a real marriage. You don’t want to save money on it, you want it to be the best just like the relationship. Everytime she looks at the jewelry or puts it on, she will think of you, and of what you stand for in relation to her, so you ma want to give the right image.
In order to achieve that you need to find what suits your budget best. Ask her, she will sure let you know what she desires and if that makes her happy, that should make you happy too.
Many gems are possible, maybe no gems at all, just some jewelry piece in precious metal like platinum or gold.
Bear in mind that for very active daily use, your gem should have a hardness above 7 (Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby,Spinel, Tourmaline, Topaz, Emerald, …), since most dust in the air has that hardness as it is composed of Quartz, and scratches the softer gems (Tanzanite, Lapis Lazuli, Opal, Coral, Turquoise, …).
Good luck and congratulations !
19. November 2008 at 11:14 pm :
My engagement ring was a sapphire flanked by 2 diamonds.
22. November 2008 at 10:24 am :
The ring given to Diana, Princess of Wales was a sapphire not an aquamarine.
24. November 2008 at 8:22 pm :
Colored stones are very in these past years. And since they are not the typical wedding ring, you can usually find them for cheaper. Try a pink amethyst, or a blue saphirre. However, a word of caution, I do not know your girlfriend, but if she has told you she doesn’t want a traditional diamond ring, its a “go-ahead,” but if not, it might be better to go with the traditional. Ask her, and if so, get some ideas from her…hint around at the subject and see what she leans to!
26. November 2008 at 6:35 pm :
aquamarine would be beautiful and remind you of the ocean
i went with a sapphire
27. November 2008 at 6:17 am :
Well first talk to your girlfriend, I mean is she heck bent on a diamond? If not some of the world’s greatest engagement rings were not diamonds, Princess Diana had a sapphire and Sarah Ferguson had an emerald ring. You could go with her birthstone or a precious stone instead, what is her fave color? You said you surf, maybe sapphire or blue topaz or tanzanite, something that would resemble the ocean. Good luck.
30. November 2008 at 12:54 am :
i agree diamonds are vastly overrated. now-a-days you can have rings custom made quite reasonably so why not look into having a ring designed specifically for you?
if not take a look at posey rings, they are charming romantic rings. celtic rings are beautiful as well.
one of our daughter’s engagement ring is a plain band with both his and her birthstones set into it. he got the idea from my wedding band, which is a wide band with my hubby and my birthstones set in it, and then everytime we had a baby my hubby took my wedding band in and had the child’s birthstone set into it. its a very simple, lovely, and romantic ring that i wouldn’t trade for all the world.
i have to say i really dislike the current view of ‘you can upgrade your rings later’. the ring my man put on my finger when he asked me to marry him is the ring that i want to keep. it is the ring that has the meaning and emotion of that day built into it. everytime i look at it i can see his face as he proposed. why do women think that the ring can be so easily replaced? i just don’t understand it.
good luck to you both, i wish you a lifetime of happiness!
2. December 2008 at 6:27 am :
There are dolphin rings.
4. December 2008 at 2:38 am :
As long as the two of you are on the same page, that sounds great. If she wants something that looks more traditional but agrees about spending big bucks on it, I would recommend a moissanite ring. I got a very classic moissanite solitaire from and I love it…it’s just as durable and brilliant as a real diamond but was soooo much cheaper, so we can save for a house instead.
Good luck, and congratulations!
5. December 2008 at 7:02 pm :
You can use any stone at all if you want a stone, or just a plain band, whatever suits you and your lady.