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How do I tell my fiance’ that I don’t need a diamond engagement ring?
justwondering1 asked:
Both me and my fiance have been married before and don’t really see the need the need in spending a lot of money on the ring, wedding, reception, etc. We have been engaged for 3 months and I want a ring but he can’t afford a diamond ring right now, how do I tell him that I don’t mind a cubic zirconia or something else, I just want a ring on my finger? I need suggestions on how to tell him, help!
Both me and my fiance have been married before and don’t really see the need the need in spending a lot of money on the ring, wedding, reception, etc. We have been engaged for 3 months and I want a ring but he can’t afford a diamond ring right now, how do I tell him that I don’t mind a cubic zirconia or something else, I just want a ring on my finger? I need suggestions on how to tell him, help!
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13. October 2008 at 12:15 pm :
It will take a lot of telling, but be careful. Any good man wants to do good things for the woman he loves. Let him do it if he needs to.
14. October 2008 at 6:35 am :
You answered your own question. Say “Hon, I want an engagement ring, but it doesn’t need to be a diamond ring, since they’re a little expensive. I’d love a cubic zirconia.”
15. October 2008 at 2:45 pm :
Explain to him that you can get a MUCH nicer looking ring for cheaper with cubic zirconia. Plus, who wants a blood diamond?
18. October 2008 at 9:50 am :
Let him know that you have done the diamond ring thing in your first marriage and that you really aren’t interested in that this time. Tell him that your tastes have changed since then and that you would like another gem, like maybe your birthstone or a colored sapphire. Maybe look at a jewelry catalog with him and mention that diamonds are overrated…
I did the same thing, I LOVE pink sapphires so I put that one out there and my man got the hint!!
20. October 2008 at 9:19 pm :
I really think you can be straight forward with him about this. Just sit him down and tell him what you are thinking about the ring situation. I’m sure he’d rather know than be trying to assume, especially if he thinks he needs to wait and get the perfect ring not when you are happy to wait for your diamond.
21. October 2008 at 2:35 am :
Congrats to you for being smarter than most in this idiotic society.
Tell him that there are better things to spend money on. Explain that a ring is symbolic; that the ring itself is not important. You would much rather use the money to buy something the two of you could enjoy in your life together, like a trip, a down payment on a car or home, etc.
Also, tell him diamonds disgust you because of the practices of the company that owns the world’s diamon mines.
22. October 2008 at 5:13 pm :
have you tried something called—-communication?
you want an intimate relationship and have no idea of how to connect to each other?
and then people ask why divorce exists????????
ohhhhhhhhhhhh puh leeeeeeeeeeze
24. October 2008 at 10:52 pm :
just be straight up, if times are tough, go for another cheaper stone i got engaged and i asked for an opal ring (which is my favorite stone) almost everyone has a diamond i wanted to be different
26. October 2008 at 10:33 pm :
How about if you go out and buy your own ring? Would that offend him? My mom wear this stunning CZ and there is no way to tell if it is real or fake. She bought it of all places, QVC!
28. October 2008 at 3:00 pm :
Honey, I love you, please do not go out and spend a fortune on a ring right now.
Let’s go to Walmart or Target and look at CZ rings.honestly we don’t have to tell anyone, because our love is so strong, we only need a little inexpensive ring to show our band of love, and that doens’t cost a thing.
30. October 2008 at 12:12 am :
Tell him that you have a sentimental attachment to another (cheaper) stone. My wife’s love of black opals got me to spend hundreds instead of thousands on her ring, and my best friend bought his wife a garnet that she adores, for reasons of her own. Even if you don’t have an alternate stone that resonates with you, you could tell him that after your first run at marriage, the diamond will mean more after a couple of anniversaries with him. Good luck to you both.
2. November 2008 at 12:53 am :
Tell him exactly that. Let him know that you don’t need an expensive diamond to show that you’re together. You just want a ring on that finger to symbolize the love and committment the two of you share. Let it go something like this …
“Honey, any ring on my finger makes me happy. Just knowing that you are the one placing it there lets me and everyone else know that we are committed and we are going to be together forever. Forget the expensive things…. thats not what I need from you, and that’s not why I’m with you. Whether its a diamon or a cubic zirconia… they both mean the exact same thing….”
Hope this helps!!
4. November 2008 at 8:48 am :
Rings are a symbol, only that. If there is another stone that has more meaning to you, then why not go for that instead? Garnet has a special place in my sweeties life, so we will probably have a jeweled piece with that. Also, it doesn’t even have to be a ring. Necklaces are a great way to go too.
4. November 2008 at 9:34 pm :
I think exactly as you wrote sounds great. Just pull him up one day at a shops to a jewellry store and say lets get this ring here i dont need anything fancy i just need you.
5. November 2008 at 6:34 am :
DEAR JUSTWONDERING, SIMPLY TELL HIM THE COST INVOLVED IS NOT AND ISSUE WITH YOU, BUT IT IS HARD WAITING FOR A RING AFTER 3 MONTHS, SUGGEST A PRETTY COLORED STONE, I HAVE SEEN SOME VERY PRETTY ENGAGEMENT RINGS THAT WERE NOT YOUR TYPICAL RINGS WHICH I THINK MADE THEM MORE SPECIAL, OR THE C.Z YOU SUGGESTED WOULD BE FINE.TELL HIM YOU NEED THE TOKEN OF HIS LOVE!! NOT THE STASTIS SYMBOL OF IT .
5. November 2008 at 7:31 am :
Tell it to him straight. Let him know that there are other things that need to be focused on right now in terms of money instead of diamonds. List reasons why a diamond isn’t necessary, like car needs to be fixed or house needs to be repainted. It has been engrained in the minds of men that a diamond is the ultimate jesture, so dont be upset if you still get one.
7. November 2008 at 3:32 pm :
Next time he mentions a diamond, or saving for one, etc. just say, oh don’t get me a diamond right now…I’d rather you not waste the money! How about a nice, believable cubic zirconia instead?
9. November 2008 at 7:49 am :
With my second marriage we didn’t bother with a ring at all, we splurged on the wedding bands.
11. November 2008 at 2:35 am :
The easiest answer, just tell him what you put in the question. If you two are very non-chalant about a wedding, then he should understand that you do not want a diamond.
13. November 2008 at 10:01 am :
You could suggest that it would be nice to have a ring that represents both of you. You can find a Two stone setting and use your birth stones instead. (kind of like a mohters ring setting. It might end up being less expensive. Some times you can get an off color diamond that is jsut as pretty but less expensive. black yellow and brown. He may also have some luck on sites like where you can get real diamonds at lower cost. Not everybody needs to shop at Tiffany’s for their ring. My husband wants to upgrade the size of my diamond and I keep telling him no. It is the ring I married him with and it is the ring I will wear until I die. It isn’t the size of the stone it is just being his wife that makes me happy.
15. November 2008 at 8:12 pm :
If you can, try to go with him and pick a good, sturdy band that’s upgradeable. Tell him that he can “grow” your ring as his love grows. You can even start out with CZ gems in the band and replace them with diamonds as time passes. That way, you can satisfy your need to be frugal and his need to express how valuable you are to him.
If that doesn’t work, just let him get the ring he wants for you. Sometimes it’s okay to give in and let yourself be pampered by the one who loves you.
17. November 2008 at 4:32 am :
i say just tell him how you told us! if you’ve both been married before then you most likely both know the high cost of all of the fanfare that goes along with a wedding. i’m sure with that in mind as well as knowing that he can’t afford a diamond, i bet he would be not just okay but somewhat relieved he isn’t obligated to buy you a diamond…that’s really cool b/c so many girls are out to get the biggest “rock”!
instead of cubic, what about asking for your favorite stone or your birthstone (unless of course that stone is a diamond!) it would be just as beautiful and meaningful…even if you picked it out together. it would be a neat conversation piece too when people see it!
17. November 2008 at 9:47 pm :
He would probably be very honored if you asked for a ring with his birthstone in it! It’s different and you would have a part of him with you always.