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My husband and I want to give our daughter a promise ring for her 13th birthday?
brainsandcute2 asked:
We are concerned if she does decide to become sexually active, then the ring will just be a symbol of guilt. How can we let her know that the ring is a promise of abstinence, but if she does break that promise we will still love her. We don’t want the “promise” ring to be a “maybe” ring. Any suggestions?
We are concerned if she does decide to become sexually active, then the ring will just be a symbol of guilt. How can we let her know that the ring is a promise of abstinence, but if she does break that promise we will still love her. We don’t want the “promise” ring to be a “maybe” ring. Any suggestions?
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7. July 2008 at 2:33 am :
Talk to her about that very thing - waiting, sex, protection, the emotional angle, and spiritual side. She will understand your love. I believe your love will also make it harder for her to disappoint you. That goes soooo much further than threats and anger. Make sure she knows that you will love her regardless, and that if she ever were to become sexually active, it’s more important to you that she stay safe and get protection and come and talk to you then it is for her to feel she will disapoint you. You will love her and be there for her wether it’s advice or help. Family is forever, and nothing will take that from you. The ring is there to remind her of her promise to wait, and it’s also there to remind her of her parent’s love and support. That love waits.
9. July 2008 at 5:09 am :
I think its a bad idea. A ring won’t stop her from doing as she pleases. However, involving her in ways to show that there’s more to life beyond your community, her friends, and many things to look forward to may be better than trying to con her into abstaining.
Take her on a vacation to Hawaii, or Jamaica or Mexico instead. See the sights, stay in a hotel, learn the language, make it memorable.
11. July 2008 at 8:12 am :
When you say promise ring, the first thing I think of is teenagers giving them to each other, like going steady. If you want to get her a ring to insure abstinence, I think you are putting to much pressure on her at 13. By now she may not even be a virgin now, but assuming she is guilt will occur after the fact and then she more than likely will not come and talk to you about it at all then. Keep the lines of communication open, without being too judgmental because at 13, it is hard to talk to your parents about sex anyway. If you want to get her a ring, that would be fine–but is it really fair to give a gift with strings attached? Maybe you can just have a discussion about the danger of sex and give her the ring as a present for becoming a teenager or young adult and let her know you love her.
12. July 2008 at 1:53 pm :
Making a vow of abstinence should be her choice, and her choice to get a ring or not. Also, why don’t you just talk to her about sex, the good and bad, like a normal person? I do not understand why parents have such a hard time talking to their children. They are only people.